Thursday, 18 August 2016

Turning 25 Feelz

 Last week I turned 25. Amongst the "oh my god where has my life gone" feelz was the equally as scary "how the heck do I adult" feelz, although I did spend my birthday in Disneyland Paris being the personification of "never grow up". A lot has changed in the past year, so I thought I would revisit the "25 things before 25" list I wrote a year ago on my 24th birthday. Some things I've achieved, some things I haven't, good things have happened, bad things have happened, but I've come out a stronger person with a few things i can be proud of.

1. Start a ‘big girl’ savings account.
I did actually start a savings account recently and now transfer money into it evey month. How long it's going to stay untouched is questionable, as I do have several holidays to pay for, but we shall see!

2. Get a promotion at work to become salaried staff.
Another recent step was my promotion to become a General Manager. Even though I still don't know what i want to do with my life, I have a career and options for the future.

3. Move into my own place with the boyfriend.
This one is a toghie. I did move into my own place last December, but unfortunatly me and him broke up in April. It's by far one of the hardest things I have ever had to deal with in my life. We were together for 5 1/2 years and to say it hurt is an understatement. It was nothing anyone did, these things just sometimes happen. I did have to move back in with my parents though. It's a work in progress.

4. Spend more time being creative and learning to use my sewing machine.

Learning how to use my sewing machine was a big fail, but I would like to think I have become more creative in my thinking, even though I don't have much physically to show for it.

5. Learn more about creating content on YouTube, from editing to the filming process.

Although I have come such a long way from when i first started making videos, there is still so much for me to learn and it's a constant process that I'm always improving upon. What I want to improve upon the most now days, is the visuals of my videos and am excited to develop them further.

6. Gain 3000 subscribers on my channel.
I've gone through a few bouts of "creators block" this year, and a hiatus after the breakup, which I think has affected my channel growth, however, I am close to 2000 subscribers so that is a big achievement for me! I love making videos and sharing my Disney trips, so its just mind boggling that people are actually watching!

7. Find a direction with my blog.
My blog has taken the back burner over the last few years, and to be honest, I cant see that changing. Trying to juggle working full time, putting out 2 videos a week and trying not to be a complete social recluse is tough and I just don't have much time to blog anymore. I wish I did, honestly I do, but I cant see myself being a dedicated blogger any time soon.

8. Rediscover my passion for photography, somehow its gotten lost along the way.
Photography isn't something I think about much anymore. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy it, I just don't think it's going to be something I actively pursue in the future.

9. Go to more concerts and see more shows.
I was so hyped to see Motley Crue and Alice Cooper last November, and have recently booked to see Avenged Sevenfold next year so I reckon this definitly counts as a sucess (I mean, have you see the price of gig tickets recently? Ouch!)

10. Stop comparing myself.
You know what, I don't compare myself. While there is always going to be a flicker of a thought that compares myself to others, I generally don't. I'm not going to waste my life being jealous of others and wishing I had something I'm never going to get.

11. Become more creative in the kitchen.

This was actually the year I decided to become a Vegan! I've been following a plant based diet for 8 months now and couldnt be happier. Admittidly I was alot more creative in the kitchen when I was living in the flat, as trying to cook meals at my parents house is abit of a pain, but I can now make some delicious dishes that i'm super proud of.

12. Join some sort of sports club or activity.
This totally hasn't happened, but I'm still thinking about it! Maybe this year, eh?

13. Learn a new language to a conversational level.
Again, something I'm still thinking about. Leaning more towards French or Japanese now.

14. Visit a country I’ve never been before.
Disney has too much of a hold on me and I just cant bring myself to book another location when I know I can jet over to Disneyland Paris for cheap with my Annual Pass. I am going to California in October though, and while I have been before, It's been 3 years.

15. Have a clear out – I own way too much stuff.
I still own too much stuff, but I did have a big clear out when I moved into the flat so that totally counts.

16. Connect with family. I barely talk to my extended family, that needs to change.

I'm still anti-social when it comes to my family. Im terrible at keeping in contact with people in general though.

17. Pass my driving test.
This is probably one of the things I'm proudest of so far this year. In february I passed my driving test and am now flitting around in my own little Fiat 500!

18. Get a tattoo.
Let's be honest here, I'm just too stingy to pay for a tattoo. There is also part of me that dreams of working for Disney again (who don't allow visible tattoos) so I stay clear, just incase.

19. Write an open letter to my future 35 year old self.
I haven't done this, but I probably should. What would I even say?

20. Watch every single Disney film, both classic and live action.
I rarely watch movies, even Disney ones, so this was always going to be abit of a push.

21. Book a trip to Japan.

I haven't booked anything yet, but me and some friends are seriously considering a trip in 2018. Fingers crossed!

22. Invest in a new DSLR.

I was going to buy a new DSLR, but instead decided to go for a Canon G7X Mark 2, which is pretty much the same price as a DSLR and I will use alot more. Yup, it counts.

23. Get involved with animal charities.
Something else I keep telling myself I'm going to do. I would love to volunteer at the Dog's Trust again, walking the dogs and cuddling puppies, or do one of those "work abroad volunteer programs", it's just finding the time.

24. ‘Organize’ my memories. I want to start scrapbooks or the like, to put all of my memory bits in.
Again, time is the issue, and when I am free I just don't even think about doing this.

25. Let the bad things go.

This year has been one of the hardest of my life. I always thought people were being dramatic when they went through breakups, but it sucks. It's like my whole life was turned upside down in such a short amount of time. My future was ripped from me and my best friend wasn't there anymore. I would like to say we are still friends, but we're not. He hasn't bothered so why should I? That's probably the hardest thing. After being together for so long, I'm nothing. We're nothing. Yes I'm moving on, but no I'm not fully over it and I probably won't be for a long time. I just need to focus on myself and I do realize that bad things happen, we just need to deal with them, then focus on getting over them.

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